


The Ends of the Earth are Here

by Pareidolia



Series: The Ends of the Earth are Here [1]
Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: M/M, Yuletide 2010, mental illness - fictional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:14:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pareidolia/pseuds/Pareidolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Butler can't vanquish this enemy for Artemis.  Spoilers for The Atlantis Complex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ends of the Earth are Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tzigane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzigane/gifts).



> Dear tzigane, I love that you requested this fandom and this pairing. I'm not sure it's exactly what you want but I hope it doesn't disappoint either.

One of the first things Butler learned at Madam Ko's Academy was that threats to the Principal could take any form, and it was their duty to identify it and understand its nature and potential. In most peoples' hands, a plastic bag is only dangerous when it threatens to dump its contents in the street; in other hands, it can be used to bind, strangle or suffocate.

The same goes for threats more internal. If a Principal's friend could be paid enough to execute a murder, or if a family member's resentment is building, they must see the possibility and be wary even if their Principal never is.

The Principal is not flawless either. Young principals are mindless of the harms that may befall them, and teenaged ones think themselves invincible. Principals may be lulled into a false sense of security, but it is the bodyguard's duty to compensate.

Butler is the youngest graduate from Madam Ko's Academy, these rules ingrained with training, discipline, and his own determination, but he has failed. Artemis is brilliant, too much for any one mind to hold, and Butler realizes now he was lulled into that light, believing with a shameful blindness that it could lead them out of almost anything.

Instead, Artemis fell, and Butler with him. He should have foreseen it, he should have done something.

He should have done anything.

* * *

Every Wednesday, they take a shuttle to the Argon Clinic. From the time Artemis wakes, there is tension in his shoulders, the set of his mouth, and even though he masks it well in front of his father, the twins and his mother’s knowing eyes, Butler can see how much Artemis dreads the therapy sessions. As they wait at Tara, Artemis practices the Preksha breathing techniques he learned from Butler, and his façade is flawed, but not enough to make Holly suspect his discomfort is from anything but her piloting should she be the chauffeur this week.

She is, and her grin is deceptively easy when she hops out of the shuttle. Butler can see where her formal suit is stuffed under the pilot chair; she doesn't want Artemis to know she must have abandoned her duty to check on him, but Artemis is too observant for that. He doesn't step aside when she punches his shoulder in greeting.

"Hello, Holly," Artemis says stiffly rubbing his sore shoulder, and Butler tries not to notice that Artemis's hand only drops after he's rubbed the soon-to-form-bruise five times.

"You look better," she says critically, studying Artemis for a long moment. Butler wonders if she's remembering the faintly trembling figure he'd been after they'd decided Artemis staying at the Argon Clinic was impossible. Or Angeline Fowl had decided, after visiting and seeing an emptiness in Artemis's eyes that shook her and Butler both.

She'd been hysterical in her fear, asked Butler then to do whatever it took to help Artemis, but it's impossible. He'd demanded and gotten Artemis back from Dr. Argon, but he can't break into Artemis's mind. He can only attach himself to Artemis's side and pay as much attention to him as he did to an infant Artemis. Butler can't bring himself to believe it helps.

"Is Juliet back in Mexico?" Butler looks down at where Holly's clapped her hands to his. Artemis is buckling himself in the seat and Butler resigns himself to another cramped ride down on the floor. He confirms, and their conversation about Juliet's wrestling techniques lasts all the way down.

They're becoming a regular sight at the station underground. The fairies working here scatter with less speed than they used to. Holly's called away after delivering them to the Argon Clinic, and Artemis stays beside him in the sleek, impersonal waiting room, the fairy at the desk reminding him of any secretary aboveground. Butler lowers his head, watching Artemis's fingers sit too still on his arm. "Beckett wanted to invite you to his tea party tomorrow."

Artemis's face is pale but his lips curve into a tired smile as he looks up at his bodyguard. "No chance of rescheduling?"

"You know how Beckett takes 'no,'" Butler says gravely.

"With many a deafening tantrum," Artemis sighs, and Butler feels a small triumph, knowing Artemis won't stay confined in his room tomorrow like he sometimes does after these sessions. Artemis's gaze diverts and Butler shifts to glare at the nurse approaching to escort Artemis in; Dr. Argon must have grown tired of pretending he hadn't been looking forward to Artemis's appointment since last week.

Artemis's ease from the temporary distraction fades and Butler does something thoroughly unprofessional, taking Artemis's arm. Later on, he'll ask himself what about Artemis makes him disregard Madam Ko's teachings, but he's never come up with an answer yet. "Let me accompany you."

Artemis seems to consider it for a moment and that tells Butler more than his refusal to disclose anything about the "treatments." He pulls away with a little shake of the head, expression caught between wry and hopeless. "You can’t fight on this battlefield for me, old friend."

On the way back aboveground, Artemis's hands tremble against Butler's sleeves and sometimes, when Artemis shakes faster than the stressed shuttle, the bumpy ride throws them closer together than they began.

* * *

Fowl Manor's bedrooms are fortresses, able to defend against any external threat. After the kidnapping event, they further fortified it against internal threats too.

The only threat tonight is in Artemis's mind.

Butler hasn't watched over Artemis while he slept in his room since he was an infant, but it seems necessary now, when Artemis has lost his ability to sleep as he has since he was a child, without guilt, regardless of his actions. Butler used to wonder about it but now, he thinks he'd rather watch Artemis sleep with an untroubled conscience, untouched by the crimes they committed.

Artemis doesn't sleep deeply anymore. He's been tossing and turning all night and now, he's sinking deeper into a nightmare's thrall. Butler's loathe to wake him; when he does, it isn't always Artemis who returns to him, and he doesn't want to deal with Orion now. Artemis's breath is thready and fast, the covers tangling around his body every time the fear wracks through him, and Butler lays fingers against his wrist, concerned about his rapid heartbeat. Artemis seems to shake, thin fingers wrapping viselike around his arm, pulling it into his too hot chest. Butler spreads his fingers over the pajama top clinging to his skin, heartbeat amplified and he wonders if he should take the chance that it isn't Artemis who wakes.

The next time he looks, Artemis's eyes are fixed on his face, wide and unblinking, almost glowing in the dim moonlight. Butler can tell when Artemis's mind catches up since his hands immediately drop loosely to his sides, but Butler leaves his hand on his chest, waiting for that heartbeat to calm.

"I've been considering cancelling the sessions with Dr. Argon," Artemis says quietly. Butler's beginning to forget what Artemis's confidence sounds like.

"They're not helping you," Butler states. Artemis is more quiescent under his fingers now, but hasn't pushed him away yet. He waits a beat, wondering if he can ask more. Artemis hasn't told a soul how the treatment is, or what it entails, and everything he's gotten from interrogating Holly has made him hesitant to ask.

Artemis seems to know anyway, and his eyes are shrewd on Butler, like the old Artemis. Or maybe different, since the old Artemis would have pulled away and scolded him for watching him in his room like a babysitter. "Dr. Argon believes things must be broken to their essential pieces to be rebuilt."

Something like rage builds in Butler's stomach. "A whole is greater than the sum of its parts."

A wry smirk settles on Artemis's lips at the words, pleased at the understanding. "If I continue, I feel I may lose myself." He shifts, and he's closer to Butler's bulk when he stills. The glance he darts up at Butler is almost nervous. "If I don't, I may revert to before."

Butler's mouth grims while he remembers the Artemis who didn't trust him and led him and Juliet straight into danger. "Will you?"

Artemis is quiet, and Butler watches his fingers tap into the bed sheets. "I cannot promise either extreme with certainty at this point."

"Don't cut me out this time," Butler finds himself saying. Artemis's gaze flies to him, relief palpable. Some part of him still has faith in the brilliance of Artemis's mind.

Artemis turns away briefly, his voice steady, though not as confident as Butler wishes. "The fairy world's technology isn't as advanced in the field of mental illness as it is in other areas, but I've taken most of the information they have. I'll cancel tomorrow and begin working on alternatives."

Butler doesn't answer, but he doesn't move, and he can tell Artemis sees his acceptance. He awaits the order to leave him, but it doesn't come even when Artemis closes his eyes, obviously trying to return to sleep.

Butler stays at Artemis's bedside, unsure what to make of it. "Don't let me progress so far that I lose trust in you," Artemis says quietly, like a confession, almost as if he doesn't wish to be heard. Butler's fingers tighten on Artemis's chest before he realizes, but Artemis doesn't flinch. "Whatever it takes."

The rest of Artemis's night is peaceful. It's a small victory, but it gives him hope that he can help after all.

* * *

Artemis's confidence is a shade of what it once was, but being around his family and Butler seems to bolster him. They have faith in him, even if Artemis himself doesn't.

Artemis begins working soon after he cancels his appointments, immersing himself in research. There are thousands of psychiatrists in the world, Artemis tells Butler when he asks, and shortly after, they take trips to meet what feels like most of them.

Butler doesn't forget Artemis's request and watches him like a hawk. It's intrusive, but he can no longer bring himself to be concerned about it. He catches Artemis when his fingers tap one-two-three-four-five, and locks them into any hotel suite they happen to be in when he sees suspicion in Artemis's gaze.

The first time, they were in Paris, a simple two room suite, when he felt the invisible distance between them and he blockaded himself and Artemis into the room without windows that he always demands there be. Their fallback for now is electroshock, and he and Artemis hate it, but it takes Artemis less time to recover from the two shocks than it took him to resemble himself again after Dr. Argon's therapy.

The problem is that the lucid times inbetween Artemis's episodes slowly begin to grow shorter and shorter.

* * *

They are in Egypt when Butler wakes up and finds Artemis gone.

He curses his need to sleep when he wakes, but fortunately, he hadn't been negligent. The first call to Foaly locates Artemis, atop Cairo Tower. When he breaks in, the tower not yet open for business, he finds Artemis on the observation deck, watching the sunrise. He's dressed impeccably, the suit matched to perfection, and part of Butler wishes he was as strong as the suit implies. If anything, Artemis is frailer than ever.

Artemis is rocking back and forth on his toes and his back is trembling. Butler is careful to sneak up on him soundlessly and by the time he realizes, Butler has checked him for weapons and has his arm in a firm grip.

"I can't even do this," Artemis says helplessly. He ducks away from the blinding sunlight, and only leans in closer when Butler steps in front of it. Artemis is shaking. "Why are you still here?"

There's pain in Artemis's eyes, visible, and he can feel his mounting tension. He stays still, and after Artemis seems to be sure he won't leave, he seems to calm and stands so close he may as well be leaning against him.

The professor they'd seen a few nights ago, at Cairo University, had said something that had Artemis excited and he'd rushed back to their hotel room, setting up various things from his briefcase that Butler has had no success in understanding. A new treatment, Artemis had told him. Something better than the electroshock. He'd been watching Artemis work for two days.

It must not have worked.

"I'll always be here," he answers simply. He takes Artemis's hand, where his nails are digging into his palm, and feels the anxiety leave Artemis's form. It's strange, that he take such comfort in these simple things, when even as a child, Artemis had never been demonstrative. But things have changed, and every day, the lines blur a bit more. He has long protected Artemis from kidnappers and gunmen, but now he's protecting Artemis from himself too.

Artemis's hands tug out of his and he looks down at those blue eyes, wondering what Artemis is thinking. But Artemis seems to be contemplating something, studying him, and then Artemis takes a step back. "I think I may be going about this all wrong."

On the way back to Fowl Manor, Artemis spends the flight on his laptop, excited about something. Butler knows enough to recognize Artemis with a plan, and part of the weight that he'd felt when he woke up lifts.

* * *

Artemis kisses him that night.

It's neat, precise, and utterly clumsy, but it surprises him less than it should and lights something inside him. When they part, he looks at Artemis's wary, but pleased, expression with something warm and falls back into the armchair that he's taken to sleeping in when they're at Fowl Manor. It may not have escaped Angeline Fowl's attention, but she hasn't said anything. She won't stop anything that may help Artemis.

"I expected a lecture," Artemis tells him, studying him curiously now that he hasn't been openly rejected.

"You know the reasons this isn't wise," Butler answers. Artemis is his principal first and foremost, and Madam Ko would have his head. But she may have his head for any number of things he's done over the years. He studies Artemis in return. He'd had to shock Artemis before they left Egypt, but it's too soon for there to have been another episode, and he knows Artemis well enough to recognize the signs by now.

"This isn't because I'm unwell," Artemis tells him, blue eyes fixed on his intently. He used to wonder if Artemis could read minds. "Or an exploration," he adds hastily, just when Butler's thoughts swerve to Orion and Holly. He had thought they'd end up together if anything, considering Artemis's lack of romantic interest in well, anybody.

"Then why?" Artemis looks down, and Butler wonders if he knows either. Artemis's forte has never been matters of the heart.

"Will you let it happen?" Artemis waits expectantly, and Butler nods once.

"Nothing more until we've found a way to make you better," Butler adds. Artemis's expression is unconcerned and Butler simultaneously looks forward to and fears Artemis's new plan.

* * *

From Artemis's discussion with Foaly the next day, Butler gathers that Artemis is hoping to "interface minds." Something building off the _mesmer_ , only with a more technological foundation. Ideally, it would allow not someone's will, but their presence to enter another's mind and maybe sync somehow, to regulate any imbalances.

Foaly's claim that his project never got far doesn't deter Artemis. It sounds incredible and impossible to Butler, but then again, so did fairies.

Fortunately, Artemis is as much of a prodigy when it comes to the fairy technology as he ever was, and his work seems to be progressing well, if his general contentment is any indication. Artemis with a project is a familiar sight to behold, and seeing it calms Butler, even with the times Artemis slips.

On the other hand, Butler isn't sure what to make of the odd relationship between them and doesn't think Artemis knows any better than he does. That Artemis is feeling something is obvious in the way he stands closer to Butler, or sometimes gravitates in his sleep toward the chair where Butler's taken to resting, but he doesn't say any more about it.

Awareness licks beneath his skin too, but Butler's made it his business to know where and what Artemis is doing at any point in time, and he's not sure how different it is from that. And when Artemis leans into him a moment too long, or steals a kiss, which requires more enterprise than it should given their height difference, he can't bring himself to protest.

* * *

"Are you ready?"

Butler nods, eyeing the machinery warily. Most of Artemis's devices work like a charm, but there's always that small percentage that doesn't. Apparently, this one will either work or not work, with a tiny chance of additional side effects, like driving them both insane. He hadn't wanted to agree, but Orion's been emerging more and more, making him have to shock Artemis more often too. Dark circles ring Artemis's eyes and he's taken to using makeup in front of his family to avoid worrying them, especially after Beckett called him a panda. They need a longer term treatment and right now, this is their only chance.

Butler watches Artemis strap on the headpiece and turn on the scrambler so Foaly can't spy on them. Artemis has kept the severity of the Atlantis Complex from everyone after he stopped Argon's treatments, and he can usually pull together a façade for Foaly and Holly. Also, this unit needed N°1's magic to power it, but the implications of Mud Men being able to use anything like the Mesmer worries Foaly. It would worry Butler too, but such concerns have no place when it comes to protecting Artemis.  
Artemis perches on the table to be level with Butler's eyes. Exhaustion lines his face but there's hope too, and Butler allows himself to believe it before the unnatural blue glow of Artemis's eyes takes him.

* * *

It looks like Fowl Manor.

Butler picks his way through, glad he volunteered. He knows this house better than he knows any other place. But when he sees the first cluster of wriggling 4's in the bushes, he realizes this isn't the same Fowl Manor he knows. He wonders if a flamethrower would help, and one appears helpfully soon after he has the thought, but maybe he shouldn't openly be destroying Artemis's dreamscape.

They disappear easily under his foot, or with his fist, and he feels an unpleasant electric shock. But it isn't enough to deter, and he proceeds to circle the manor, searching for and destroying the clusters. The grounds are as expansive as the actual Fowl Manor's; trust Artemis to make such an accurate replica.

The 4's hide as well, blending into the grass and shrubs, and even the ornamental pond. Butler's tired before he even enters the house.

Once he's in, the manor looks pristine, and he allows himself to hope. Artemis isn't in the open rooms but when he makes his way to the study, he sees a thick cloud of fours, like a shield. Artemis must be in there, and Butler breaks the shield of 4's with a special satisfaction. They shatter as easily as the ones outside did, and he catches a glimpse of Artemis through a gel-like substance, but the hole immediately closes up, and then he looks more closely around him.

He was wrong. The 4's aren't regenerating; they're drawing from the environment.

They're everywhere. The 4's have blended in so deeply here that they're camouflaged perfectly into Artemis's replica of Fowl Manor. Several are crawling around his feet, and when he looks at the wooden panels on the walls, he sees them skittering and blending into the grain. He picks up a book and a series of 4's fall out. Some are deep rooted too, and he needs to pry them from whatever they've attached to before he can destroy them.

He'll need to kill them all before he can work on the shield.

Butler considers quitting for a second, or perhaps an hour, since time has no meaning here, but the image of Artemis, broken by the weight of this disease, is enough to stop him from following that train of thought, and he gets started.

It is one of the most exhaustive and tiring things he's done.

When he finds himself back at the blockade of 4's in gel, he's wobbling on his feet and his muscles feel like dead weight. His vision swims. But Butler's almost there, Artemis is in sight, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for him.

He channels his frustration, his hope, and the gel with the 4's disintegrates around him. He thinks he feels Artemis's touch before he passes out.

* * *

When Butler wakes up, it's in the actual Fowl Manor, and they're both on the floor. With energy he didn't know he had, he pulls off the drained devices and carries Artemis to the narrow mattress he keeps here.

They collapse into it.

* * *

Butler wakes up to the smell of burnt bread.

"How are you feeling?" Artemis asks from his perch beside him on the bed. A smile sits on his lips and Butler reaches up to his face, wondering if he's still in Artemis's mind for a second. But there'd been no scent in Artemis's mind, and Artemis has always been useless in the kitchen, even a simple toaster somehow eluding a mind that can comprehend concepts like time travel and Foaly's pet projects.

"Did it work?" Artemis takes his hand, and he doesn't allow himself to feel relief yet.

"I can't be sure yet," Artemis starts, and Butler's heart sinks. "But I believe so." His grip on Butler's hand tightens, and he allows himself to feels the mind-numbing relief. Butler feels the smile split his own face. "I feel... like myself," Artemis adds.

Artemis shifts closer, lying down beside him, and after everything, Butler can't bring himself to mind. He looks at Artemis's face, the gratitude visible in his eyes, and feels like a weight's off his shoulders.

"You don't think it's permanent," Butler recalls, from what Artemis had told him before.

"We can't know yet," Artemis says quietly, "It might be too much to expect. But it'll likely take a significant amount of time to emerge again." Artemis's gaze drops, almost shyly. "Thank you."

When Artemis's mouth lands on his hesitantly, Butler pulls away. "That isn't the right way to thank someone," he says gruffly.

He almost senses Artemis's irritation before it crosses his face. "You fulfilled the condition yourself. And before you ask, yes, I still want this."

"Why?" Butler can't help but ask.

Artemis carefully presses closer, and Butler doesn't protest this time when Artemis kisses him. "I feel myself with you." Soft hands brush over his, and Butler recognizes some of the sly confidence he hasn't seen since before. "Even in this. And wouldn't you rather it be you than any boy with a motorcycle or Minerva with her thoroughly inadequate security team?"

Before Butler can appropriately process his dislike of the thoughts, Artemis's lips are on his again, and he stops resisting Artemis and himself, returning the kiss. It's been years, longer than Artemis has been alive, but he remembers, dipping into the willing mouth. He doesn't know when they shifted, but Artemis is soon shaking in his arms, a dark flush gracing his pale skin.

Satisfaction hits Butler like a punch to the gut, and he doesn't spend too long contemplating it before diving back in. Artemis's mouth is slack, but his body's tense and hot with arousal, and embarrassment further flushes Artemis's cheeks when he opens his eyes to finds Butler watching. "Hurry up," Artemis orders and he tugs at Butler's shirt pointedly.

"With?" he questions. Then Artemis's hips lift up against his, and his own body stirs fast enough to make his head spin. He doesn't know if the shuddery grunt is his or Artemis's.

"Anything," Artemis breathes out, and Butler may have torn the buttons on his thin dress shirt, but he's not bothered to check when all he can see is pale skin. He slips his thumb over a stiff nipple before pinching, and when he hears Artemis's almost shrill breath, he does it again. Butler gives in and suckles this time, and Artemis thrashes, his flailing feet kicking him in the shin without enough force to hurt.

Artemis has never been expressive, but he's too new to this sort of pleasure to do anything but wear it on his face. His body throbs, but he can't take this too far. He carefully shifts Artemis's hands from where are still fisted in his shirt and rolls them over to sit up, his muscles aching in protest from the change in position.

It takes Artemis a moment to catch up, but Butler shushes the inevitable protest with a kiss, guiding Artemis out of his clothes, and it doesn't take long to spread Artemis over his lap so that he can easily thrust against him. The sound Artemis makes is choked, and he admires the naked desire again before smoothing his hands down. Artemis is all pale skin, and Butler finally stops touching long enough to squeeze his narrow hips and guide their thrusts into some sort of rhythm. Artemis's thighs clench around him desperately, part of him fighting the impending climax even while he seeks it. The look Artemis gives him is sheer desperation. He doesn't want to think about what he looks like.

He finds the presence of mind to lean down and Artemis seizes the opportunity, taking them into another shuddery, gasping kiss. He deepens it, doesn't let Artemis squirm at all for the next thrust, and it's enough. He unlatches from his mouth in time for the needy sound, keeping the pace, and then he's done too.

When he comes back to himself, he's flat on his back, and Artemis hasn't moved from where he's sprawled over him. They're both a mess, but Butler doesn't care, and the fact that Artemis hasn't protested yet is a testament to the power of his afterglow.

He settles Artemis beside him on the mattress, and Artemis promptly attaches to his side, eyes closed. "That was nice," he mumbles. Butler lays his hand over Artemis's where it rests on his chest.

"Just nice?" Butler questions.

"First adjective," Artemis says by way of explanation, and Butler doesn't question it anymore since Artemis seems to have lost his capacity for full sentences.

He doesn't know what this is, or where it will lead, but for now, he'll give Artemis the chance to navigate them through it. And even when Artemis becomes lost, Butler doesn't see himself anywhere but by his side.


End file.
